First of all, let me explain in full detail that I’m no expert in any particular moves that can potentially grab your ankles for the invariable choke hold. So, if you so happen to stumble down a path of saying or doing the items listed below, please know that no matter how many books about the “collective” you read, we may not be in this as together as you think. Jus’ sayin’…
I do believe I’m an excellent candidate for having done most of these items and lived to tell about it; which makes my black ass more than capable of lending supportive words of wisdom to the small following I’ve managed to accumulate.
Okay. Ready. Set. Go.
1. Don’t ever make the mistake of telling someone you love that nothing really matters except that person. Everything matters especially when it comes to your boo boo bear not having a job and lounging about all day in the same pajamas you left them in the morning as you desperately try to beat rush-hour traffic.
2. Always ensure you keep your truths completely in sync. There’s nothing worse than figuring out that your lies are actually truths, and your truths are convincingly and arguably not so truthful.
3. When in doubt, always ask a reasonable question to someone whom you’ll expect a well thought out response. Nothing could be harsher than asking a yes man for an obvious and expected no response.
4. Don’t keep wearing the same pair of jeans and expecting a different feeling. Jeans are by far the most amazing feeling one can experience against bare skin, but leave it at that. We’re not all blessed to have a multitude of Cindy Crawfords to admire as we start our days sipping coffee with the New York times in tow.
5. When in love, keep the jerk factor to a cool minimum. One amazing trait we’ve all learned is the power to ignore. Most jerks fall deeply into this category.
So, all in all, listen to your gut and if life doesn’t afford you a gut to receive your much needed counsel, then listen to your best friend’s gut. Often, between the two, you’ll find a happy medium to lean your weary soul on.
Even if it means having to break the proverbial rule of using a preposition at the end of a sentence every now and then.