…was what I learned to be in the fifth grade, especially during those recess moments.
This week has been a formidable week for me.
There were parts where I felt stranded, and other times where I felt completely connected to the things that give me the most freedom. The scenery has been amazingly creative and the company has been unexpected, relative, and in sync with my own rhythm. Even the trees came to my aid on several occasions, and whispered the “Get-it-the-fuck-together” speech to me. Once, when I was thinking too loudly, the world seemed to wait in quiet disposition for my mind to catch up with the rest of my body. Once aligned, the machine churned and regained itself around my own realignment.
But, I digress.
So, as it seems, I’ve learned three things about myself this week:
1. I’m just an introverted as the next guy. My version is just a tad bit quieter.
2. My friends, the old and new ones, will never EVER know how much I love them. Partially because I’m not physically or emotionally able to completely show them, and partially because they’ll never be able to full understand if I did.
3. The days we live until we die are not meant for us to count them–up or down as it were; but rather, we should embrace the significance in how they affect us in growing closer to who we are at any given time.
Essentially, my friendships are not these detached options that I’ve learned to tolerate over my life, but essential tools in life that I’m able to tug into my next phase of existence. Friendships are those things that give us strength when we’re lost at sea, and only need a connection point to remind us that we’re still human.
My friendships give me the feeling that my thoughts, love, freedoms, and ability to see poetry in everything is just as free as a fifth-grader looking across the playground as his new best friend for the day.
Even when we’re desperately alone.