Used To The Blur

…she said with amazing eyes only an optometrist could pull off.

The other day I was getting my eyes in a strict effort to tackle any of those life impurities that seem to sneak in and out without being noticed. The optometrist said to me that, “You have a little astigmatism but nothing to worry about”. In fact, she continued, “Have you ever worn glasses?”

“Yeah, I did at one point in time but I gave them up cold turkey because I felt my eyes were getting worse”, I murmured.

She smiled and told me to sit back while she removed the Borg-style contraption off my face.

“You didn’t quit cold turkey, you just got used to the blur”, she said poetically.

For a moment, I was speechless, and for those who know me well enough, this is quite the impossibility.  In an instant, I felt like 1) my victory over my failing sense to see well was in fact an illusion, and 2) what do you mean I’m getting used to the blur??

Then it hit me, what other blurry segments of my life am I getting used to? What else have I “delusioned” myself into thinking is one way but in fact is another? How much of this blur is simply acceptable? How do I gauge in either direction?

So, I left the optometrist with an unique understanding and a few more questions in not only in my physical ability to see the things in front of me, but also the realization that perhaps I’m emotionally seeing certain parts of my life in a blurred state. Perhaps I need to divest some more time in understanding what I’m truly seeing in myself and in the ones who love and care for me.

20/20 is such a relative term anyway.

M.C. Davis

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