On Being Afraid To Fail


…life has a way of showing you yourself.

The other day, and like most days that fill up my life, I’m full of things to do.

In fact, more often than none, I find myself figuring out the many ways I can reinvent myself, or at the very least, leave a little bit of my legacy behind for someone to appreciate. Growing up with both grandparents raising me,  the one true lesson learned was the indelible response of my purpose in life, and if anything, the realization that my purpose has nothing to do with where body is specifically located. In other words, my purpose was global to who I am and without the noise that life often brings to the table to distract you.

Regardless, the other day, I had absolutely nothing to do and it felt good.

So, like most things, life isn’t easy…especially when you’re tied down to yourself without a key in sight.

Actually, I was chatting with a buddy of mine who works as a correctional officer in a boondoggled facility in Southern California. He mentioned that he wasn’t happy in his line of work and his job could essentially be replaced by a retarded monkey with a serious relapse of crack and heroine abuse.

…his words, not mine.

So, we chatted, then chatted some more, then finally realized that his only problem was that his support system was extensively nonexistent. He didn’t have anyone to tell him to get off his high horse, or to tell him to get on his high horse. He also didn’t have the self motivation to know the difference between the two. More importantly, he didn’t have the fortitude to understand that if you truly want something in life, you have to create in yourself the intention that you already have it in your life.

I want success doesn’t quite sound the same as I have success right?

It was only during 0ur conversation when we both realized that our problems in life often stem from us getting in our own way, more so than anyone else getting in our way. In other words, the harsh games we play in our own minds are more often more critical, damaging, and self-destructive than anyone else’s bony finger pointing at us from across the room.

So, yes, like most things we often are afraid to fail. We fear failure so much that even when we do absolutely great at something, we’re still angry for not quite reaching 100%.

…even if the final score was 99%.

M.C. Davis

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