On Being Human

EBSNow, let’s be honest.

Where are all the humans? Where are all the people that actually bleed when hurt, or cry when someone dies, or better yet, react emotionally when being spoken to? Is it completely absurd to create a kind of notion that it’s okay to become vulnerable beyond yourself?

Recently, I’ve fallen in love with the book Emotional Bullshit, written by Dr. Alasko. The book, if you want to call it by such a name, was given to me by my best friend and for once in our 8 years of friendship and love, I’ve stopped several times to thank him in countless ways. Within its pages, it tackles not only the interpersonal relationship with your respective partners and friendships, but also those deeply centered (and often ignored) conversations with ourselves. More importantly, the book looks into the realities behind what Dr. Alasko’s has coined as the “Toxic Trio” . Within this Toxic Trio, Dr. Alasko has brought denial, delusion, and blame out of the closet and into the courtroom. For once in my life, I was able to understand my own relationship with myself beyond myself. For once, I was able to address those human traits that drew me to myself years prior to this person who only exists today.

Yes, only existing.

The book also centers around the premise behind our core needs that we have individually or collectively. He identifies that those core needs ought to be cultivated throughout our entire lives, but more importantly, we should create a system of  sharing those wonderful core needs with the people who love and care for us. In defining our core needs, or those needs that advance your long-term interests, develop your character beyond reproach, or realize your deepest potential, we align ourselves with our partners and friendships in such a way that not only enables the joy within your relationship to flourish, but the disarmament of denial, delusion, and blame begin to allow you to breathe freely.

I wouldn’t want to make this a complete review for this book, although I think a million more writers should exploit the true wealth of this book, but my last words I will say is what Dr. Carl Alasko mentioned.

“Show others how to better experience what they already know…”

I’m almost there Carl…I’m almost there.

M.C. Davis

On Love

SamNow, when one decides on what to love, does he or she intimately know how to l0ve it? In other words, is there an innate ability to know how to love one thing without the keen awareness to the noise that love usually brings along for the ride?

Often, we find ourselves in the midst of  the possibility of love without the unique understanding of what that truly entails. Often, we’re so scattered in our own ways that we find only small reminders of who we are supposed to be in our partners and loved ones. We’re lost in an open field and our only way out is to pretend we’re in a crowded city block filled with street sounds, shady characters, and loose women at every corner.

This, in most respects, isn’t supposed to happen this way.

Whenever I’m alone, I think of only the noise that I’ve blocked out to be, well, you guessed it, alone. In doing so, I’ve actually conducted the wrong mindset because I’ve invited the noise back  into a systematic part of my new thoughts. For one, it doesn’t help me to move forward with the “trum trum” of past noise lurking right outside the door. So,  when it comes to love, why do we insist at times that our past objects, hopes, and desires wait for us at the door…as if we’re supposed to return back to them.

I’m not the most pessimistic of lovers because my personality will only allow me to love the world as I see it, but I do realize the advantages of being completely true to the core of who you are. Love isn’t a four-letter word that only starts a conversation but rather, a notion of what could be or the possibility of change within ourselves that will only manifest itself in one direction.

To the person or  thing you love.

M.C. Davis