When I was much younger, I used to imagine my life as an adult and typically, I would stand very still to make that moment more sincere to who I was at the time. In essence, I wanted to own the moment and take full advantage of the fact that when I’m ready, the moment will in turn own me. There were times where my mind would wander in a millions directions, only to find itself quietly back into the same position moments later.
Did I actually go anywhere or was my mind simply allowing me to think so?
So, as an adult now, I have found a sound and proper solitude amongst myriad noises in the world. If anything, I’ve found myself being able to block out the distance from where I am and where I should be. In other words, I have found a new love of sorts and this love, forever in its basic sense, is the art of loving myself. So, when it comes to loving others, I’m in some ways hard pressed in understanding why people have such difficulties in taking in the most basic sense of how to love someone else. Isn’t the strongest fear in telling someone you love them is not hearing it back? Perhaps the time we have on this Earth is in some ways designed to finalize the details in how we love one another?
Now, don’t misunderstand me, I’m not God’s gift to the fine art of loving my neighbor nor God’s gift to loving myself in a saintly way but the lessons I’ve learned in these 32 years are by far more resound now that any other time in my life. I’m only mentioning this because there are so many loves in my life, and I wouldn’t want any of those people or those things to know or feel that my love isn’t with them at all times. I am so grateful for the things that my friends provide for me that oftentimes, I am neglectful in sending out the thanks that they truly deserve. In most respects, I am very hopeful they they already feel it in our experience because truly that is where the highest truth in our friendship will emerge.
So, perhaps loving someone is a true artform on one side of the coin and a complete and utter mess on the other side of the coin.
Is it easy to say that we can hope for the best?