…sometimes I feel like people don’t say that enough?
The day will soon come that the notion of celebrating anything will inevitably lead to neglecting the basic tenants of how our society is built. I am guilty of this very infamous deed and it wasn’t until I started this blog that I realized that I could indeed celebrate the day–if not a few days at a time. This blog has taught me more about myself, my writing, my opinion, and my demeanor than any book idea or poem I’ve ever written in the past. Not only has this blog given me the freedom to celebrate each day, but it has proven itself over and over again in becoming a therapist of sorts, a kind of inner voice that has been given a new and more diverse canvas in which to project.
I love the idea of blogging so much that I have kept it very much a secret from my friends. Although my thoughts and ideas are not uncommon in nature to my friends nor secretive with respects from what I would like my friends to know, but I realize that this blog has truly given a new style of freedom that differs greatly from a hard-bound journal quietly sitting on the nightstand. It’s my own little world that forbade disagreement, correction, or true recognition from any particular perspective.
Yesterday, I had a dream that I was being held captive and I knew, as well as my captors, that I was going to die at their hands. When I realized that my time was near the end, I found myself looking at myself being killed, but I was very far from the scene looking desperately through someone else’s eyes and body. It was a surreal moment and for an instance, I felt sorry for the guy being bludgeoned to death–quickly forgetting that it was my own body. It was a remarkable dream and to be honest, it changed a perfiferal view of how I see my own life. How quickly it can be to forget oneself in a time of desperate need or quickly lose focus on yourself when all focus is on others. This dream made me realize that not only is a dream a small glimpse into a person’s inner workings but it slowly reminds us of how close we are in utilizing the other 90% of our brain.
In essence, I am thankful for what this particular blog does for me because I get the chance to explore my own inner options in a fantastical effort to change the outer ones. I get a chance to witness myself, as well as my thoughts, grow into some magical and respectable.
Interesting how the words we summon each day create new emotions for our entire lifetime.